Dive into the world of Commodore Stitch, a notorious con artist, as he orchestrates an elaborate scam to fleece a millionaire with a scheme involving the promise of psychic power.
James Earl Jones passed away on September 9th. He was a part of American culture in so many ways. His voice was Darth Vader and Mufasa, and his “People Will Come” speech from Field of Dreams is something every good baseball fan watches every year.
Yet there were other roles. One of my earliest experiences with James Earl Jones was in the 1980s “Mathnet” sketch on PBS’ Square One TV, where Jones plays Chief Thad Green. These programs helped build my love of mysteries. I decided to review one of these cases that made its way onto the Internet.
Background:
Square One TV aimed to teach kids mathematic principles through a series of sketches. These included game shows, sitcom parodies, a Pacman-themed video sketch called “Mathman”, an animated do-gooder called Dirk Niblick, and there was even music videos. Who could forget the Meatloaf-inspired 8% of My Love?
But the segment I loved the best, and which came to dominate the show in its later seasons was “Mathnet.” This Dragnet pastiche features two mathematicians who use math to solve criminal cases. The narrator/Joe Friday parody was Kate Monday (Beverly Leech). In later seasons, she’d be replaced by Pat Tuesday (Toni Di Buono). The partner throughout was Office George Frankly (Joe Howard), who leaned into the zaniness Harry Morgan brought to the role of Bill Gannon. Jones played their boss, Chief Thad Green.
The character’s name is a major Easter egg for fans of the original Dragnet. The name of the second boss on the Dragnet radio series and during the first Dragnet TV episode in 1951 was Thad Brown. This indicates the level of awareness and respect the creative team had for the source show, even though they were making a kids’ TV sketch.
“The Problem of the Passing Parade” was aired as a 9-minute segment on each daily episode of Square One between February 9 and February 13, 1987. The program begins when Green asks the two mathematicians to help him use some math to plan the logistics for a parade to honor music legend Steve Stringbean (a Bruce Springsteen knock-off played by Alan Schrock). They work out various aspects of security and crowd control using math, but then get word that Stringbean has been kidnapped. With the aid of a young eyewitness, and drummer nicknamed Rimshot (Andre Gower), who is a friend of the kidnapped superstar, they set out to solve the case.
Educational Value:While I was very entertained by the series as a kid, watching it as an adult nearly forty years later, I realized, “They were teaching us some things.” Some of the mathematics in this particular episode may have been a bit over viewers’ heads, likely with the hope that they would retain them long-term as they dealt with some of the mathematics of music and the chromatic scale. But for the purpose of the episode, they make it simple enough that your average elementary school kid can follow it. Beyond just the type of math, the episode teaches problem-solving skills. It also introduces kids to the ideas of databases and gives an understanding of how those work, which is something that would become very relevant in the lives of many viewers. In addition, the whole episode makes math look like something relevant that viewers would use in their everyday lives, without being preachy about it. It’s a very solid and worthwhile approach that still stands up.
Comedy: Joe Howard is a delight as George Frankly, making the character hilarious and lovable. While he’s a bit kookier than Gannon, that works for fine on children’s television. Yet he’s never too wacky, can contribute to the problem-solving and knows his math. However, whenever they’re not calculating, George can deliver the most unexpected lines as Kate Monday somehow tries to keep the case moving along despite George’s beautiful strangeness, such as when he does an oral recitation of “I Love a Parade.”
Kate Monday begins segments after Monday by saying they’re watching clips from the previous day’s show, which is an amusing bit of fourth wall breaking.
The Mystery: The case has a reasonable benefit. Like Dragnet, it’s a procedural approach, as they use different mathematical methods and follow clues in order to locate Steve Stringbean. One of the key clues involves touch-tone dialing, which many children of the 1980s and 1990s might appreciate, but might be unfamiliar to more recent arrivals to the planet. Beyond that, it’s a good mystery story that, due to the nature of being told in nine-minute segments, requires big cliffhanger moments every few minutes.
The episode also captures some of the key stylistic beats of Dragnet without becoming farcical about it. Two scenes in particular stood out: a press conference in Green’s office where they speak to reporters about the case, and the capture of the criminals. This was a series that (when it wanted to) could really capture the cadence of the show was imitating.
The Chief: Given that Jones’ passing led to me taking this trip down memory lane, I focused a bit more on his performance. Chief Green, like the captains on the old Dragnet series, has the job of being the voice of authority, and the one who assigns cases to our heroes. In this episode, Green also interacts with the press. Jones was a pro and he delivers everything you could ask for. At this point in his career, he had already won a Grammy, a Tony, and a Golden Globe, and gotten nominated for an Emmy and Oscar. He was arguably overqualified for the part, but still, he adds an air of legitimacy to the proceedings.
Negatives: If there is one part of the proceeding that’s a bit off, it’s Rimshot, in particular, some of his dialogue, which seemed weirdly anachronistic and unnatural. It feels like dialogue from the late 1950s or 1960s, not the 1980s. For me, this sounded a discordant note.
Overall thoughts: This is a fun “Mathnet” story that has all the elements that would make it a beloved favorite that connected with so many viewers. It’s a great mix of math, mystery, and clever nods to Dragnet. Some elements (such as the evolution of databases and telephone technology) do make the story a bit of a cultural artifact that shows how things used to be done rather than providing insight into the way things are currently done. However, it also represents an approach to educational TV that’s not often taken in the 21st century and deserves another look.
Danny investigates the murder of a woman who’d been carrying a valuable statue smuggled out of China.
Original Radio Broadcast Date: November 5, 1949
Originating in Hollywood
Starring: Larry Thor as Lieutenant Danny Clover; Charles Calvert as Sergeant Gino Tartaglia; Barton Yarborough; William Conrad; Junius Matthews; Jerry Hausner
The Telltale Clue was a summer 1954 TV series starring Anthony Ross (the original actor to play Danny Clover in Broadway’s My Beat) as Captain Richard Hale of “The Criminological Division” of the Police Department. Each week he solves a case where a key clue leads to the solution of the crime.
This particular episode of The Telltale Clue aired July 29, 1954. It is noteworthy for having been written by Gore Vidal under a pseudonym, and also for featuring a young Leslie Nielsen.
The story opens with a woman with a bullet wound being thrown from a moving car. With her dying words, she says she was shot by her husband. While that’s a strong piece of evidence, Captain Hale needs more. He finds a whole family’s worth of suspects, with her husband, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law all sure she was cheating on her husband.
As a mystery, the story is reasonably well-done. The mystery is a puzzle and manages to throw out a real red herring. However, as an overall production, it operates very close to the sort of melodrama that defined New York’s radio culture, and would figure in its future as a soap opera mecca for decades to come. In some ways, it’s an odd series to be on television, as CBS chose to launch this as a police procedural when more realistic programs like Dragnet were dominating the airwaves.
Most of the performances play to the heightened, almost soap-operatic style, and certainly Ross fits that mold. Captain Hale is still a sympathetic character in the end, but has to cut a probable solution in under thirty minutes. Ross does a good job, but the same can’t be said for many of his fellow actors, as there are a few bad performances that are either a bit too stiff or a bit too over-the-top for the story.
Twenty-six-year-old Nielsen turns in a solid performance. As with all of Nielsen’s work prior to Airplane in 1980, he turns in a solid dramatic performance as a man who knows more than he’s letting on.
All in all, this is a decent TV episode if you enjoy early live television and if you like your mysteries a little bit soapy.
